two things today...

First - I am in a great mood today. I finally got my new phone. It came to my house yesterday while I was at work. And it is fun! I was smiling all day. I know it is kind of a bit shallow to be so excited about a new phone, but it is really cute! It's purple!

Ok now that the shallow, girly side of me is done, it's onto issue number two...

I went grocery shopping today (no that is not the big news, although I haven't done that in a long time and it did shock my family). The story is actually what happened to me as I was checking out. I had the most, ummm...interesting (?) conversation with the check out girl. actually looking back at it, it wasn't so much a conversation and the checker giving me a monologue.

It started with the lady in front of me asking me a question about an item I was buying. Which then went into a conversation about microwaves and how we can't live without them...and thus began the monologue.

"My brother doesn't have a microwave. i don't know how he expects his wife to eat during the day since she is on bed rest and can't do much. I mean she's only about eight weeks along, but she w as out walking-cause she likes to walk, you know, and she started spotting so the doctor told her to be on bed rest and to stop nursing her baby. The baby is about fifteen months old and just can't understand why her mom won't feed her anymore."

Ok i admit, it was a bit interesting, but I bet her Sister-in-law would just love to know her private life is being talked about at the checkout counter of the grocery store. But there was more...

"There are three babies due this year in my family. Both of my sisters are pregnant. they're twins. (here is where it really get's interesting) I am kind of jealous of them having babies which doesn't really make sense since I don't even have a man in my life. i used to have a man, but I broke up with him because he punched my best friend. he was jealous because I kissed him, but that's just what we do! It's not like I liked him or anything, we just kiss every time we see each other. Yeah we were together at one point, but there were no sparks when we kissed, so anyway, I was going to marry this guy -my ex- but I had my best friend come over to help plan the wedding and we were sitting on the floor giggling and he just leaned over and kissed me but then my fiance just came over and punched my best friend. Can you say Jealous! I mean really, He punched my best friend. When I asked him about it he said, 'well, you kissed him'
I said 'you have seen me kiss him all the time.we kiss all the time'
'yeah, but we are engaged now'
'well you have seen me kiss him since we have been engaged'

So you can see why I had to break things off with him. Jealous, jealous, jealous. I threw my ring at him and he asked 'are we breaking up now' well no duh! I mean you just punched my best friend. Jealous!"

At this point I was trying to pick my jaw up off the floor, and paid the bill and left. The whole time I was shaking my head thinking of how many things in that "conversation" that struck me as odd.

I am still shaking my head.

so i goofed a test..

So my kids are all taking root word test today. I made the tests last week, two per class. So I hand them out to the kids and everything is going great. Then, in my last class of the day, it happens. One kid with and orange test says, "What's this root? m-a-r? That's not one of our roots. That's a freshman root."

so i look it up. Sure enough. I had somehow added one 9th grade root word on the 10th grade test. So the next question was, which root did I leave off?

And I figured it out. So then I had to figure out a way to get the kids to know ALL of the roots. Including the one I left off the test. Plus I had to figure out a way to make myself look a bit less stupid and save some face. So i did what every teacher would do...

"Kids with the Orange test, I left one root word off the test and added a 9th grade one to see if you are paying attention. If you can figure out which one it was, you will get a bonus point."

Well I tried at least...

and so it begins...

My making humorous mistakes in front of the class, that is. Or doing something stupid that promotes laughing until you pee your pants. I am so glad today was Friday. I do not know if I could face these kids again tomorrow. It might be just a touch too soon. What? you want to know what happened? well ok. But be prepared...


On Fridays, I do a word of the day. It is just a fun way for me to enrich their little minds with some fun vocabulary words. I try to find words that they probably won't hear everyday, but they might come up somewhere. The last few words, for example were: Plethora--meaning an abundance or a lot of; Defenestrate--meaning to throw someone out the window; And then there was today's word: Masticate--to chew.

Not so bad you say? I didn't think so either, until 4th hour. Then, when I went to say Masticate in front of a room full of teens who are in the throws of puberty, their dirty little minds took over and two started to laugh. I didn't think much of it, until one sweet innocent girl (aka, my niece) Turned to one boy and yelled "Get your mind out of the gutter, you Sicko!" And that is when it dawned on me: Masticate sounds an awful lot like masturbate... and these are 9th graders here.. Oops.

So I lost all control as the entire class erupted in laughter, and I was helpless except to join in. Five minutes later, I am finally getting control when one innocent boy says, "I don't get it." To which I very quickly said "Good", which for some reason, made everyone start to laugh all over again. *sigh*

It was another 10 minutes before we could move on to the next thing. Oh and I changed the word of the day to Coulrophobia--a fear of clowns. Is there a word for a fear of 14 year olds? At least I didn't use it in a sentence like "I like to masticate." I don't think we could have survived it. And thank heavens the principal wasn't observing me at the time...