ITP

Ever heard of it? No? Neither had I, until Tues that is. My mom was diagnosed with this. The long name for it is: immune (idiopathic) thrombocytopenic purpura. Basically it's a problem with the immune system where the body produces antibodies against the platelets, which then are destroyed in the spleen. This results in a low platelet count. Since platelets are what help the blood to clot, people with ITP bleed very easily. They bruise as well. When I say bruise, I am not talking your typical bruise. My mom looks as if she survived a horrible car accident. She is covered in big, black bruises. They came for things that you take for granted: kneeling to plant a flower, Sitting on the ground, or on a hard chair, leaning against a counter. Things that we all do normally and don't receive bruises.

I have spent the last day and a half looking up information about this disorder. Everything I found scared the crap out of me! I can think of no other way to describe it. There are scary things out there about this. Bleeding to death from a moderate cut, something that wouldn't even normally need stitches, is one thing that scares me.

I had never heard of this before. I don't know much about it. Even after going to the Hematologist and reading several websites, I still don't know much. I just know it is a scary thing, or it can be.

Tues, when my mom was given a tentative diagnosis of ITP, her platelet count was at 9000. The normal range is between 134,000 - 350,000. Hers were very low. Wed they dropped to 2000. I had to take her to the specialist for an emergency appointment and an injectable medication. She can't drive anywhere. She can't climb on a ladder. At work, they took away her box cutter. She can't lift. If she falls, gets hit in the head, or gets cut, she has to call 911 because she will bleed to death. If she notices blood in her stool, she has to call 911. If she coughs up blood, or throws up blood, or if she has a bloody nose, she is supposed to call 911.

They are trying to bring her platelet count up. She goes back to the Hematologist on Friday for another platelet count. If they have started to climb, they will take a bone marrow sample to make sure this isn't cancer. They weren't able to eliminate that because her counts were to low. If they had tried yesterday, it would have resulted in bleeding, which would have caused a very large bruise. Since she has so many bruises already, they didn't want to cause anymore. If her count has not gone up, she will have to have another injection.

Mom is most worried about how she is going to pay for this. Right now she is so bad that she had to take the rest of the week off. If her counts aren't up on Friday, she won't be able to work until they are. If she doesn't work, she can't pay for treatment, and she needs the treatments to live. It would help if she were receiving the alimony she is supposed to, but she isn't and she can't count on it.

So that is what has happened the past couple of days here. I am scared I am going to lose my mom. I am scared she is going to hurt. I am scared she isn't going to be able to pay for the needed treatments, Dr. visits, lab work, etc. I am scared that I can't help her. I am frustrated that there is nothing I can do. I am angry that my mom can't seem to get a break. I am just scared. That is all there is to it. I am scared. (sorry about what it looked like before. It was nice and neat when I first posted. I had to get back on and fix it.)