In the craziness I call my life, there are a few things that make it worthwhile. Today I am taking a few minutes to think about one of them. School. See, while I often complain because of the stress of it, the truth is I feel very lucky and blessed to be going to school. I know there are people who would love to go, but for one reason or another can't. I was one of those people for a while. And I thought I would have to postpone my last year due to financial obligations.

See we have had many unexpected financial "things" spring up on us. B had to spend a night in the hospital. Hubby had an Endoscopy test thingy and ended up back in the Er the next day. Hubby's car broke down. The van needed new breaks. Hubby had appendicitis. C needs braces, and in order to get those braces she needs to have several teeth pulled, including oral surgery. There is also another Dr we are having to see and he is $100 per visit. With all of these financial issues hanging over my head I didn't know how we were going to pay for my tuition, books, and childcare. Especially since this is my last year and I will be student teaching and will be essentially be working full time without pay, but will still have to pay someone to watch my kids.

With all of this looming and my stress beginning to go through the roof, I began to wonder, yet again, if this is what I was supposed to be doing. Shouldn't I be spending my time at home with my family? With the expense, shouldn't I be working instead of going to school? So I started praying, wondering if I was being selfish and sacrificing my family's well being for personal reasons instead of for the good of the family. Then things started happening.

Yes the Lord does answer prays. And he answered mine. Again. Only this time it was as if he was sighing says "I have already told you this. Why won't you trust me?" And so it took longer. But I received financial aid again, not as much as last year, because Hubby is making a bit more this year, but some. I still didn't have quite enough to pay for everything, but it was a start. Then more financial troubles hit and I began to doubt some more. I still kept feeling that I was doing the right thing by going to school, but I was really scared and wondering how I was going to pay for it. I wasn't going to not go, because I know I am supposed to finish. But I was doubting my judgement, thinking that I could do this. And I am right in a way. I can do this, but not without His help.

And his help came in a very unexpected way. I won a scholarship. A full tuition scholarship. That means my financial aid will pay for my books and childcare for the rest of the time I am in school, even my student teaching. The reason this was so unexpected is I actually got the notice right at the same time Hubby was in the hospital having his appendix removed. But I didn't look closely at the letter and failed to see that I had to return it, signed, by a certain date. That date passed while Hubby was recovering and I panicked. I still took the letter over, thinking it wouldn't happen, but because of the circumstances, and that I only missed the deadline by two days (the deadline was a Saturday and this was on Monday) They let me accept it anyway.

I cannot express the relief that flowed through me. I cannot express my gratitude because of listening to the spirit when it told me to take the paper over anyway, even though the date had passed when I was just ready to give up, sit down and cry.

So it has again been reaffirmed that i am to finish school. And it has again been established (as if this fact was ever in questioned) that the Lord, in his infinite wisdom, knows so much more what is best for me.