Dentists...

There are people who have no problem going to the dentist, and then there is me. I am terrified of the dentist. T E R R I F I E D. Seriously. It takes me weeks to even work up the nerve to call a dentist to make an appointment. And that's when the appointment is for someone other than me. Let me share:
About 18 months ago, we finally got dental insurance. Hubby tells me I need to make the appointments for everyone. I finally call three weeks later. I make the appointment for two weeks beyond then. But I didn't make an appointment for myself. Just Hubby, Cassidy and Becka (Sarah wasn't even two yet). Dentist day comes. I drive everyone to the dentist, and drop them off. I can't even walk into the office. I go to the store and get some stuff for Cassidy's "bonus bucks" store (whatever that is). That takes 10 minutes. Then I go to the dentists office. I sit in my van for another 45 minutes before I can walk into the door. I do finally walk into the office, remember I am not even seeing the dentist. I just have to referee the kids while Hubby is in the chair. Everyone has their checkups and everything is fine and dandy, appointments are made for the follow up, and I again don't make one for me.

Now I know this sounds horrible, I mean what kind of example am I setting for my kids. However I really do have a reason for this irrational fear. And just so you know even just writing about the dentist is making me shake. Sure is a good thing this thing has spell check. So my reason. I had a very bad dentist, actually two, but one was really bad. See this dentist was horrible. He was mean. When I was around 10ish, I had to have oral surgery. My mouth is just way to small to hold all of my teeth and this guy thought it would be a fantastic idea to pull out, not only the baby teeth, but to surgically remove the permanent ones underneath. Sounds like fun right? Yeah, umm not. Maybe if they had sedated me, it wouldn't be bad, but the didn't. And I can still remember screaming so loud my mom came in from the waiting room to see what was going on and the dentist saying he was too far along now to give me more numbing stuff. So he just finished. And I had to keep going to this dentist until I was old enough my parents could not force me to go anymore (16ish). This sadist also wired my mouth closed and wired my bottom jaw to my earrings when he was tightening my braces at age 13. He also would tell me that "next time" he would take my braces off, but once I got in the chair he would say "sorry, your dad didn't pay the bill, so you have to keep them on." I have such fond memories...

So fast forward a few (like seven) years and Hubby convinces me that I need to go to a dentist. So I go. And the dentist says that Hubby and I have eight cavities each. We each had two filled, then lost insurance and didn't go again. Imagine our surprise when Hubby went into a new dentist for a check up to find out he had no cavities! Cavities don't go away when left untreated do they? I didn't think so. Anyway finding that out just reaffirmed in my mind that dentists are sadists who just want to hurt people. Before I get the rotting tomatoes thrown at me, I know logically that isn't true. In fact my new dentist is a very nice man. And I really like him... outside his office.

Anyway, So once hubby and the kids come out of this dentist and not one of them is crying, Hubby begins to guilt me into going. So it takes me another 4 months and a xanex, but I do finally call and make my own appointment. It was still two months away, but still...

So I know I wrote about my dentist a while ago, I really do love this man. But it took so much for me to make the appointment. I had to be drugged to even walk in the door, and Hubby could not leave my side. He had to stay right there holding my hand. And when i had to go back for a cavity, well I didn't think I could make it. Hubby had to take a day off work, and my wonderful dentist drugged me. Ahhh Sedation dentistry, even if it was conscious sedation, is a wonderful thing.

Which leads me to yesterday. We all had dentist appointments again. Even me and my youngest. And I only took one xanex. And I was OK. And no cavities for anyone! YEAH!!!!

Even though I know my new dentist is great, and he won't hurt me. And he understands my irrational fear and gives me drugs, I will probably never be able to enjoy going to the dentist. I will do it, and one day I really hope I don't need to be drugged, but right now it's a big step for me to say It was OK. I do love the way my teeth feel though.