Things that must go!

For today, I am talking about things that should be banned, or just really annoy me for some reason. This is kind of a spin off from a local radio station that does this same thing where a DJ talks about things that he things must.

For today, my thing that must go are those stupid automated phone systems. You know the ones where you call in and the computer tells you to just "speak" your answers, yet they never seem to be able to understand you so when you say 'speak to a representative' they send you to hear you balance. I decided insurance companies are the worst by far, especially when you need to talk to a real person. They don't even have that option!

For example, Yesterday i had to call my insurance to find out which insurance covers oral surgery, medical or dental. I didn't know because while it is a dentist, the surgery takes place in a surgical (medical) facility, and the patient is under general anesthetic (medical again). So I first call my medical insurance who, once i finally get to a real person (which wasn't too bad in this case) told me to call my dental insurance company. This is where my frustration builds very quickly.

I call the dental insurance company and get the great run around by the computer. First they want to know my policy number, which is impossible to give them since they have never sent me out a card because they are a "paperless" provider, which means they do everything online. Once I choose three different options it finally gets me somewhere where I can say what I need to do. I figure that since I need to see if this procedure is covered under my policy I should choose the "benefits and coverage" option. Silly me. It could never be that simple. NO I choose that option and it asks me to "say the first name." First name? First name of whom? The patient or the Dentist? or maybe they want my uncle's first cousin's childhood boyfriend. That would be easier. After about four tries at figuring out what they want and saying several different names (did you know Dammit is a name? Learn something new, it didn't help me though) I finally think maybe they want the policy holder's name. So I try that. And Thank the lard it doesn't ask me for a first name! I think I finally may have this thing figured out.

I was wrong. All this did was say "this policy covers the policy holder, spouse and all dependant children. This policy has been in effect since 2005. Do you want information on another person?" What. The. Hell. Another person? so maybe if I say another family member's name it will say something different. So I try my daughter's name. I figure she is the patient, maybe, just maybe it will give me information like what percentage is covered. Nope. It repeats exactly what it said when I said the policy holders name.

So now what. I say "back to main menu" and listen to all of my choices. Then I hear "for more options, say 'more options.'" More options? I want more options! So I say more options and get another option that is not helpful. Something that I can't even remember because it was so unhelpful. And then it happens. I get stuck. I try to get back to the main menu, and nope, it says I have to choose one of the options. In fact it says "I'm sorry. I couldn't understand you." And so, in utter frustration, I press the "0" button, because that is the universal button you push to speak to a real, live person. And I hear "I'm sorry. That is not a valid selection. Please try again." At which point I am ready to throw my phone across the road and jump on it a few times.

But wait? what is this? A new menu? And this one says ways to contact us? could it be? I try it. And nope it isn't. It was just too much to hope for. So I try hitting the zero again because this was a new menu after all, and this time it worked! I was sent to a real person! Only I kind of feel bad for this person because after going through their automated system that was supposed to be easier, I was just pissy and wanted to bite her head off. And I still didn't find out what I needed too. I have to call back today. Pray for me that I don't end up going through the phone lines and smacking someone. Yes the automates computer systems that don't help must go!